The Random Texter Once Again

And no month would be complete without a message from The Random Texter.

Some say that he treads so light he leaves no carbon footprint.

Others say that he cured the potato famine in Ireland.

All that I know is he is The Random Texter.

"As you know I have been playing a lot of golf and was getting quite good. Anyhow, my game started to go downhill so I decided to book some lessons with the golf pro. I had several lessons then went to the clubhouse; the pro had left me a message saying that the only way to improve my game was to cut 6 inches off the end of my clubs. Puzzled, I rang him and he said it wouldn't help me, but at least they'd fit in the dustbin."

His golf might suck, but it's a reassurance that his texting skills are still intact.

The Random Texter Returns!

The Random Texter has become a lot more discerning since I started putting his messages up on my blog.


Some say that he is Nostradamus reborn and that his words of wisdom will bring about the End of Days.

Others say his stream of consciousness is so fast it breaks the sound barrier.

All I know is he is the Random Texter.

(I could so write for Top Gear)


"Me and Mum have gone back to knitting a suspension bridge, house is getting full, going to link the mainland to the Isle of Wight. But why anyone would want to go there is beyond me, maybe missionaries. The Random Texter x"

The Random Texter Strikes Again

"Before we went away I visited the doctors because everytime I bent down I kept seeing Pluto and if I got up too fast I would see Mickey Mouse. He said not to worry - I was just having Disney spells. Love ya. xxx"

Random Texts from my Dad

"Good morning, did you know that the cheetah is the fastest 4-legged animal on the planet?  Speeds of 70mph.  Anyhow, thought for the day - if we crossed one with a hedgehog it would stop the carnage on the roads.  If they could outrun cars, we could call them cheetahogs.  Have a great day.  Love Dad."

 

"When I worked on the [building] site I was known to work with a cardboard box on my head.  Life was tough.  Love Dad."

 

"I don't know if you can help me.  I am trying to source where I can buy muzzles for guinea pigs.  I am thinking of training them in guerilla warfare and hiring them out as mercenarie and I don't want them escaping and terrorising Poole.  Love Dad."

 

(regarding my blog post on the White Van Man)

"Hey, read your blog.  I had a white van once and it used to make me angry when people put their wipers and washers on.  It used to take days to get over.  I even had to consider counselling.  Love Mr Angry."

 

"I was thinking about pink plastic flamingo racing for the Olympics.  Matty has agreed to be my herdsman for the year.  Do you think I can trust him?  It gets a bit lonely out on them hills at night.  Love Dad."