Pirates of Poole Harbour

So. According to my local paper the esteemed Mister Depp is hunting for a house in the New Forest. Lymington, to be more precise.

Mister Depp, if you're reading this blog - I thought you were damn great in Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and I can't wait for the third installment. Can I also add that Poole is a lot better than Lymington. For one, it's the home of Sunseeker, Ryvita and Mathmos (lava lamps). For two, the best fish and chips in the world can be found in the Portsmouth Hoy, courtsey of Jo and Mark. For three, the Sturminster Marshall Football Team are always looking for new members and I'm sure Matty Saunders and Moose could teach you a thing or two. For four, if you and your family ever need someone to share Christmas Dinner with, the O'Neills would happily volunteer. Picture the scene, myself, my mother, my father, my sister, your fine self, Lily-Rose, John and Vanessa sitting around a table in the Thistle Inn. Cheap shiny party hats, an abundance of wine, crackers with crap jokes and overcooked roast potatoes.

I know you're probably overexcited by all these suggestions and will need a bit of time to calm down, after all it is a big decision to make. I look forward to hearing from you very soon and do feel free to pop by for a cup of sugar if you ever run out.

Oh and don't bother with Sandbanks, it's overrated in my opinion.

Best wishes,

Your Biggest Fan. Caroline xxx

P.S. Being such a great pirate I'm sure you'd also want to invest in a boat. If you ever need someone to swab your decks....