I've been back in England for nearly 4 days now. It feels strange. Coming home has been a bit of an anticlimax. So many things have happened, but I feel almost detached from reality.
Met up with my good friend, Howard, yesterday. Whilst checking his blog today I realised that in his post he has conveyed in just a few simple sentences exactly how I'm feeling at the moment. It's harder for me to write about it, as I'm the one going through it all.
Since Lydia and I have been home we've had to deal with the culture shock of being back in a buzzing city. Sure, India is just as cosmopolitian in it's own way - but here things are so much faster. People breeze past you, paying you no more attention than they would a ghat. Nobody stares at me. To quote "Holy Cow," in India I was famous just for being white. Now I'm just Caroline.
I miss the friendliness of India. I miss walking down the road, waving at the multitude of people we befriended. I even miss the clamour of rickshaw drivers, circling us like vultures. London has no soul.
The hardest thing for me is being without Lydia. I spent three months of my life with her. We slept in the same bed. Experienced the same whirlwind of emotions. Fought with rickshaw drivers. Drank rum and coke whilst watching the sun set. We gossiped, bitched and basically just enjoyed our Indian experience. I feel as if I'm missing a limb. I keep expecting to turn around and see her next to me; to dissolve into giggles at her newest turn of phrase. I feel all wrong.
I know things will get better soon. I just need to adapt, take it easy for a bit.
It'll get better. As Sandeep says, "wherever there is life, there is hope."
Caroline xx
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